FATAL FLAWS

*WARNING*-Read with a grain of salt, also, this is going to take a while so take a breath and take a seat.

I finished a seven hundred and sixteen page book in less than a day. Now surely you do not believe me to be bragging about such a feat as small as this, but given my insanely busy schedule, I will admit that it is indeed worthy of a blog post. Besides that, I believe it portrays something wildly controversial, hence, the afore-mentioned warning, and so I feel obligated, dear reader, to give you my opinion, an insight if you will, on this book that kept me up till three in the morning. Know this though, I will not tell you the book's name, do with that information as you please, but I will certainly tell you about the book. After all, it is not the book that is important, it is not even the lives of the characters that are. Empathy and compassion make us feel the catharsis of a fictional tale that isn't about us. Of course, it is splendid to have a good cry every once in a while when a story gets so darn emotional, but again, it is not the book that matters but the the lessons we learn from them. I'm stalling but stay with me, I promise this is vital to your past, present or future love life. In the book, one main theme is infidelity, and now you're beginning to predict what I'm getting at but let's be patient. In order for us to truly delve into this properly and dissect this theme, we must first discover, or rediscover what infidelity means. It is unfaithfulness in marriage or some other moral obligation. Some dictionaries recognize betrayal to be synonymous with infidelity, so there it is.

The book I read was a story about a boy and a girl. They were friends, they'd known each other for years, since he was six years old and she was four. He loved her then, she was his younger brother's best friend but it didn't matter because these things rarely ever do. It took a while but then she reciprocated, and like most people young and in love, they started dating. Having extremely wealthy parents can have its side effects, it meant no one minded when they'd take a private jet to Paris on a school night. They stayed together happy and in love for five years then what happened? You guessed it. Dude messed up and cheated on her, and with her best friend no less, then he told her but of course he didn't tell her with whom. Her nanny, the woman that raised her, advised once a cheater, always a cheater, so of course she started dating someone else. She was scared he'd do it again; who wouldn't be when someone rips your heart out like that? But then it broke him and he lost himself. Let's just say almost every female he met from then on had his mark and he became a little too friendly with powder and booze, still, they loved each other. He hurt her to prove she cared for him as she belonged to someone else, and she hurt him because she did not want to hurt alone, yet they were the loves of eachother's lives. It didn't matter how toxic they'd become, it wasn't important that they intentionally hurt each other, that they didn't respect or choose each other; they were soul mates because she knew him and he knew her. Because she was all he thought of and she couldn't function right without him, because they were two jagged halves of a whole, and they needed each other so they were in love. Well, this isn't much of a summary, but then again, this isn't a review, it's a reference, and can I just say, I call the poop of a bull.

Before I proceed as to why, I am obliged to remind you that what I feel and what I think is exactly as this bog entails, personal. That being said, I want to believe that we can all agree on just how wrong infidelity is. If you did not know, well now you do. It is so because it not only shows an immense lack of respect for your partner, but also an incredible lack of appreciation for one's dignity. The main male character -I would not call him a hero- was constantly unfaithful, and though some may argue that he had reason to be, I mean his whole world just waltzed off to someone else over one teensy weensy mistake, but no, it is not reason enough. Don't be naive and please don't be insensitively ignorant either. In every single action consciously taken there is and there will always be a choice, and though the alternative may be unbearably uncomfortable it does not negate the existence of that choice. He could have what? Chosen to love her as hard as he claimed to, chosen to redeem himself from the repercussions of his mistake, chosen to soothe her broken heart with the evidence that he would never be uncaring enough to repeat his mistake, but did he do that? No he did not. Instead he chose to sit in his self righteousness and justify his own contradiction to something that was naturally the casual effect of his unfaithfulness, and that, dear reader, is not love.

The heroine is most definitely not without her own faults in the matter either, and that fault is cowardice. Again, some may argue that strength is in remaining in a situation that so obviously makes you unhappy because you're happier with the person than without, but again I call the poop of a bull. Even though she supposedly left him and did the right thing, her good action is filled with so many gaping holes that it is utterly useless. One of the reasons for this is the fact that leaving him for someone else to begin with was wrong. Mind my wording. I didn't say leaving him was wrong but leaving him for someone else is not only a bad attempt to forget one you've claimed to love, but it is also incredibly insulting to the person you've left to. One should never use another to forget one they love, for it is disrespectful and insanely selfish.

Second is the fact that she never truly left him. You cannot hide behind a false relationship and still actively encourage the past one, consequently, it is silly to believe you can eat your cake and still have it. Hence, she didn't need to be the one cheating to be wrong, because she allowed herself to entertain the belief that she could not live without him, which I would like to tell you is far from the truth. She was not brave enough to recognize this, to know that being lonely is very different from being alone. Unconsciously, she gave the love of her life the permission to be nothing even close to the bare minimum for her, and by allowing him privileges of a relationship they didn't share, she allowed him to believe that it was okay to hurt her. That is why I do not believe she loved him because love isn't about taking the easy route -which besides its nature was exactly that for them- but it is doing what needs to be done whether or not you fear abandonment.

Maybe if she'd forgiven him he would've never done it again, and maybe if he'd tried to earn her trust again they'd have been together, we'll never know, but what matters isn't what could've been but what is. Love is not in saying how you are unable to breathe without someone but it is in the acts of true devotion that it resides. So it begs the question:

Can one love another and still be unfaithful?

Can one be loved and still be treated unfaithfully?

Can one be okay with it?... Should one be okay with it?

When you meet the other half of your soul, the half that was made specially for you, the half that understands you like no one else can, you trust each other. When you choose them, because that's what love is, a choice, and they choose you, ultimately, you are deciding to respect each other. You are choosing to love them inside out with their flaws and perfections, and whether or not there's a million and one people better than your partner is irrelevant. So, to answer the first question, no, you cannot in good conscience claim to truly love someone and still cheat on that person. Secondly, love is forgiveness, it is patient and kind and everything that makes a relationship wholesome and unselfish. Do you get it? Let me rephrase that; to love someone you must first love yourself. You must acknowledge and protect your self worth no matter how much your heartbeat matches another, thus, it is possible to live on without the love of your life because not even they are indispensible. Do not confuse this because many do. Never hold anyone higher or believe yourself incapable of existing without anyone but the one who died for you so you can live. I say this for the sake of your peace, but again, it is completely your choice to heed it or not.

So what can we take away from this?

Do not be unfaithful if you claim to love your partner truly. Do not allow yourself to be treated unfaithfully if you claim to love yourself. And most certainly do not judge the people that cheat or are cheated on. Know when to walk away, know the line that should never be crossed not even by your soul mate. Remember to be sensitive and honest with yourself and those you love. There is nothing beyond forgiveness and there is also nothing wrong with loving whom you choose to love, reciprocated or not, because love is selfless like that. Every single soul is worthy of love and if you know better, as I'm sure you do dear reader, you know that you're already loved beyond measure, and that not everyone gets a romantic love in their lifetime, but that's okay.

All in all, love is always a risk, question is, are you willing to take it?